swallow my pride

So much for happiness, I soaked my smile in the sun rays. No one will ever criticize each other for their own happiness. Not one soul will feel alone in a loudest crowd. So much for love, the snakes and alligators will hug each other. Nobody will have to get mad and yell at each other. Instead, they’d laugh it off and move on. All the hearts will be dancing together. This I know because my heart is dancing.

For so many people’s lives, they have something to hold against the others. Why can’t we just let go and laugh it off? All they’ve been doing is to pull each other down before they reach for the top. Its like they want to be the only one who’s on the top and look down on the others. All the others will feel knocked off and dead. They think they’re better than the rest. Really, its never true. Just open up your eyes and see what they can do. You’d be amazed.

From what I’ve seen, everyone is criticizing each other. Why can’t they just shut up and enjoy the show? If it bothers them so much, okay, give them a bit of advice or tips. Seriously, is it necessary to put the others down so you can feel better about yourself? How selfish we are to think of ourselves but not one another’s happiness? If they’re trying, just simply push them up. The world will be a better place if you do.

My experience at Riverside adult school yesterday has been humbling my prideful heart. Every time I had to go there, I’ve never got the chance to interact with some people or be “people watching” while I’m sitting back in the hallway. Yesterday, I did and I think I’m fortunate enough to bump into a forty-year-old lady who is learning ASL. She said she never got the chance to complete high school when she was my age. So many things popped up in her life that she has to stop educating herself for a while. She felt that her dreams has been devastated, then, she didn’t let go a piece of hope. She knew she could capture her dreams now as she’s doing her part. She is also a nurse-in-training. And then, it hit me so hard and I realized that nothing really is too late. I’m amazed at her age that she didn’t let go of that piece of hope. I think I probably would but then, later on, I’d say differently. There will always be another chance, another way or another road. Forget regrets or life is yours to miss.

For the last four years, it has been hell for me. There were various of people who has been hard on me and I am hard on myself too. Many people told me that they think I should consider getting the GED. I used to think the people who has the GED are losers. I was too prideful to get one and kept fighting my way through high school. I was too stubborn to listen to some wise people. The experiences I have had to go through is really rich. I don’t think I’ll trade those mistakes I made or the obstacles I overcame just to get the GED earlier. Nevertheless, I’m happy where I am now. If I’ve gone back and changed everything, I will not have the amazing people in my life right now. If I did, I probably will never understand anyone, or what they’ve gone through. Everything happened for a reason, indeed.

Just simply sitting in the hallway for around an hour yesterday, I thought, and realized, “who am I to judge them but me?” I felt truly dumb for thinking I’m better than them. They’ve had hard-knocked lives. This I can see inside their eyes when they were walking by. I wasn’t sure if my heart softened or it’s breaking apart. At that point, I realized that I’m just like them. Fighting and struggling. Keeping our heads up as we strive for the best. After, I gulped my big pride. How stupid of me to think I’m better than them all along, yet, I’m grateful for this simple experience to see a better insight on life. To have the GED isn’t a bad thing, not even a bit of it!

Pride is what ruined everything. Because of it, everything is either overrated or underestimated. I think its the best if all of us to let go of our pride. Be proud but not prideful.