in this room

Countless awakening nights
Where I am staring
At the twelve lines
Into the corners of this room

Thinking I don’t have a choice
One way or the other
I’m trapped in this room
There is no way to get out

It doesn’t matter how hard
I want to beg to differ
Or imagine a door
On one of these walls

For me to open and get out
And live the dreams
Laughing and breathing
But… you said I can’t

So I try to change myself
And to please you
By staying in this room
Staring at the lines blankly

Living in this room
Makes me a pretender
And a hypocrite to myself
By saying I’m really happy

I want to get out, I want to scream
I want to tear the walls down
I want to live my dreams
Laughing and breathing

Time runs too long
Not knowing which day it is today
Being mute and insolated
As the anger builds inside

So when I can’t take it anymore
I screams as I knock
The walls down, one by one
As my anger boils out

Now that its all down
And those nights are over
I can sleep and breathe again
And now, I can live my dreams.

By: Ruthe-Ellen